Life as a.....

I am determined to become a good blogger. Okay, maybe "good" is a bad word because I'm pretty sure I won't be good at it, but I'll be good at being consistent. There we go. That sounds good.

It seems like life just goes by and when I think about blogging, it's been a good 3-4 months. Life can change drastically in that short amount of time. I'd like to chronicle our life, its crazy changes, and what's going on in my life apart from being a mother. So. Here goes.

Life as a mother: I stayed home with Layla until she was 27 months. I then started working at a wonderful cloth diaper store here in Lubbock. I started with 8 hours a week and slowly increased to what is now 22 hours a week. 8 hours was perfect, but I am not cut out to be a working mom. I want to be at home with my kids. I feel like if I'm working then I definitely get less quality time with my kids because I'm at work then I spend all my time when I get off work trying to keep the house somewhat together. It's just not a healthy balance for ME (what works for me doesn't work for everyone else!).
                          I am very blessed with a boss who completely understands my feelings about this and is allowing me to cut back to 8 hours. Oh, this excites me. I kind of think I took for granted being home with the kids every day, and now I can definitely make the most of it. (and maybe kick potty training's hiney in the process...)

Life as a wife: Z and I just celebrated our two year anniversary. Two years of completely craziness, but they were absolutely wonderful. In those two years, we have moved four times. We have had degree changes, job changes, a back surgery, a sweet little boy, and more visits to the ER than I would like. Life is great though. I'm very blessed to have such a wonderful husband who really does put my needs/wants above his own. When I told him I wanted to try working part time, he encouraged it. When I told him it was too much, he said he'd pick up the slack. He's pretty great.

Life as a debt assassinator: We are kicking the baby steps in gear this month. Completely funding our emergency fund and knocking out several small debts. My husband has taken and passed his test to sell insurance, so that's going to become a focus. He's very passionate about financial planning, and it's exciting to see him getting started in that field. He's also teaching Financial Peace University at our church for the fall semester, so I'm sure he will be extremely motivated to knock out our debt!

Life as me: I am finally feeling "normal", I think. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only mom who will tell you it's hard not to lose yourself in the life of motherhood. We moved to Lubbock in December and are roughly 10 hours from my family. I really don't like being that far from my family, but I do like living in Lubbock. I've met some great people. I'm helping with MOPS at our church, and that makes me feel like I can contribute something to someone other than my kids. :-) I'm also pretty excited about starting our small group at church.
                   I also now have a sewing space in my room and am about to start knocking out some homemade Christmas presents. Sometimes I'm not sure where I want my sewing stuff to go...If I want to sell it or just use it as gifts. Extra money would be great, but I'm not sure I enjoy it as much as I do when I know I'm making it just because. I know it'd be fun to get stuff on my Etsy account, but we will just see.

I think that's a good update, right? Now I'm going to start working on putting together a schedule for when I cut back hours next week. I think that's the thing that drives me crazy- our lack of a schedule. I need my kids to be in bed by 9. I need them to sleep until no later than 7:30 am. I've never been the type of mom who follows a schedule. As long as they're in bed by 9, great. If they stay up later, they don't flip out because we didn't start their bedtime at the same time as the night before. They're pretty easy going kids, but this staying up past 9 is for the birds.

So, until next time....

It's worth it

Let's be honest. Have you ever had a friend and considered them your "best friend"? But one way or another you figure out that the friendship you see isn't the one they see. It's a completely different friendship, and you're clearly not as close as you thought. I'd say that's the story of my life, but that may be a bit extreme. I do vividly remember laying in my parents' waterbed when I was maybe 11-12 and just crying because I didn't have any close friends. It hurts. It does. When you regularly hang out with the same girls and they talk about all this time they're spending together. I don't know if other people are wired this way, but I am wired so that when they're talking about spending time together, I'm thinking "what is wrong with me that stops them from inviting me?" "Did I do something to make them mad at me?" etc.

It never really changes when you're older either. I'm an adult. I've moved from town to town, and, let me just say, it is hard to make friends. I always feel like I'm intruding on someone else's life. Like they're already settled. They have their friends and I don't really need to interrupt that. But then there's also all that hurt from those agonizing wonderful junior high and high school years (and even college!). One particular experience stands out over all the others. To this day I have not mentioned this particular incident to this person, but it obviously still bothers me if I can remember it (and get bothered) so well.

I was visiting a friend out of town and had made plans to do lunch or dinner with a friend from high school. I got done early, so I called her to let her know I was done and that we could meet whenever. I didn't hear back from her, so I went to Hobby Lobby. While pulling into Hobby Lobby, I see said friend walking in. I call her real quick thinking I'd be funny, but she pulls her phone out of her purse, looks at it, hits a button, and puts it back in her purse. Dagger. to. the. heart. Why? What did I do to her that made her completely bail on me? Who does that? I don't know, but what I have learned is that I NEVER want to be that person. So, if I have ever done anything to make you feel as low as I did that day, I am so sorry!

I say all of this because I have been really convicted lately when it comes to loving others. It is so hard to love people especially when they don't deserve it (in our eyes). Everyone has a hard day. Everyone loses it every once in a while. One thing I have really been working on is how I use my words and my tone. Our words CAN hurt or heal. They can build or destroy. They can comfort or abandon. They can impact someone so much more than we think. If we don't love someone despite their hateful words, despite their rudeness, despite their ability to bail, despite their hate, who will?

I have watched my daughter bring a smile to a grumpy stranger. I have watched her tell a stranger "hi!" and bring an instant smile (sometimes even laughter). Joy is contagious, and I'm quickly learning that sometimes our rudeness/hatred causes others to be rude. If someone is rude to me and I react in a loving/kind way, their attitude seems to change. It is hard, but it is worth it.

He just keeps growing.

My how time flies. I always say I'm going to do better about keeping up with this thing, but I'm not. Obviously. I guess it's a good thing that keeping up with my blog isn't just real high up on my priority list these days. 

Not a whole lot has changed...except for this little boy. 

He just turned 5 months. 

Weight: 19 lbs

Height: 25 inches

New things? He can sit up better each day. 

He is so strong. If we prop him up and get him to hold onto the couch or crib, he will just stand there like a pro. Yes. Like a professional stander. 

He talks up a storm. I think I blame this on trying to keep up with his sister. 

He gives the sweetest kisses and loves to give a good belly laugh. 

Speaking of sisters, let's do an update on Layla Ann. 

She has taken wonderfully to her little brother. It's funny how once she has a little brother, she seems so grown up and I no longer look at her as my baby. Ok. It's not funny, it's sad! 

Here's the stats as of her last appointment (only a couple months ago):

Weight: 31 lbs

Height: 33 inches

She can run (but not without the help of her arms!). She's a fearless climber and loves slides. She's also fearless in the water (she calls it "white")  and is becoming quite independent in it. She practices jumping. She absolutely loves to lay in the floor and "draw" letters. Give her a pen and a notebook, and she's good to go. 

She enjoys and jumps at the chance to take care of Sawyer. It's been a joy to watch her nurture him and to kind of grow into the big sister role. 

We recently took her to her first movie (Monsters U.) and it was a hit. As you can tell in the picture, she was a bit nervous, but she enjoyed it. 

I guess that's the update on the kiddos. I'm in the process of getting them to go to bed by themselves in the room together. (psh. riiiight.) Layla typically goes to bed around 8. It just kind of depends on when she gets tired. Sawyer will go to sleep around 9 or so, but he's so used to falling asleep in his swing that he doesn't fall asleep in his bed. I guess I don't expect it to be easy having two little ones share a room. That's one reason I cannot wait to have a house. 

Making it work

I am still getting used to this whole SAHM to two kids thing. I am going to try to portray just exactly how I feel but I'm not a very good writer so we will see how this goes.

I always wanted a lot of kids and I wanted them close in age. Z and I tried for about six months to conceive and I was actually sad when it didn't happen and Layla would turn two before she a sibling. I knew having two so young would be hard but I didn't know how hard. My mom had four all two years apart. Plenty of women have kids even closer together than 22 months apart. Psh. Some people have twins...or quadruplets. If other people can do it, I can too.

I am doing it. The hardest thing, by far, I have experienced yet is when I am nursing at night and Layla wakes up crying and calling for me. Yes, z gets up with her, but my heart still hurts when she calls my name and I can't come. I was excited because Layla was sleeping through the night in her twin bed and she didn't even miss her crib. We were ready for sawyer, and this new addition to our family is going to be oh-so-smooth. Mhm. Riiiight. It was crazy, tiring, mentally and emotionally demanding, but I love it.

I love having the chance to nurse sawyer on demand. I love being able to rock him to sleep even if he will expect it each night. It doesn't matter that sawyer still eats every three hours all day and night because that is one of the things I can do for him by being a SAHM. I love getting to play with Layla past her bedtime because I know I don't have to wake up, get dressed, and leave. I love being a stay at home mom. There are definitely days where it is stressful, but I wouldn't change it for anything. It's exhausting, but it's a privilege.

A chance to just be

After a couple months of getting moved in, giving birth, having two kids with RSV, one in the hospital for RSV, and getting adjusted to dividing my attention between three people I love dearly, I guess it's time for an update.

Life is moving along swimmingly. The past two months in a nutshell are: Sawyer was born on January 31st (three weeks early). After a brief stay in the NICU, we went home on the 3rd. Layla got sick around the 12th of February, and then we moved on the 15th. Shortly after Layla got better, Sawyer got sick. Z stayed with Layla and I took Sawyer to the ER on a Wednesday night. They tested him for RSV, and it was positive, but they sent us home. They told us to keep our appointment for Thursday morning at 8:30. After a couple hours of sleep (and my husband waking me up 15 minutes before I needed to leave to take Sawyer to the doctor), Sawyer and I ventured out to the doctor. They observed his breathing for about an hour and decided it'd be best to admit him for observation. Thankfully, Z's father came to stay with Layla and let us borrow his vehicle so Z could get to class. I took Sawyer to the hospital.

I know none of the reasons Sawyer was in NICU or in the hospital for RSV were life threatening or that serious, but it is never easy seeing your child in the hospital. I was emotionally exhausted. Physically, yes, but emotional exhaustion to me is so much worse. Sawyer wasn't nursing very long because he couldn't breath, so for at least two days, I nursed him every hour. That means sleep was very rare. Z was very helpful and offered to stay with Sawyer over night in the hospital, but it just wasn't something I was willing to do (give up nursing him for some sleep). I missed Layla dearly. My in-laws took her for the weekend just to lighten our load a bit. They actually took her to a track meet in Fort Stockton, so she was even further away from us. My emotions didn't handle that well either, but I was very thankful that my in-laws were there when we needed them!

Sawyer needed oxygen the first night we were there, and after several times of the nurses suctioning him, he was definitely breathing better! I completely broke down when they had to deep suction him. I know it helped greatly, and I know it didn't really bother him that much, but it was just so sad seeing him go through that. Z kept telling me he was going to be fine, and I knew that, but when I'm emotionally exhausted, once I start crying, there's just no stopping it. I cannot remember if we went home on Saturday or Sunday, but either way, we were very happy and ready to go home.

So, with both of the kids well and all of our stuff in our new place, we finally had a chance to just be. I'd be lying if I said we are completely unpacked. It's getting there, and I absolutely love our apartment. We have a rather good sized fenced back yard that Layla really enjoys. We had Layla's second birthday party recently too. Maybe that'll be my next post. :-)

I just kind of wanted to update before I forgot about all of the "fun" we have had in the past few months.

Best laid plans

We had plans. We were going to pack up our house and move into Lubbock before Sawyer came. We were going to be settled in, and I had plans of stocking the freezer with prepared meals so that was one less thing to do after he came.

I definitely should know by now that our plans are meaningless compared to what God has planned, and I'm so thankful that our plans do not get in the way of His. I had an ultrasound on the 29th to check on Sawyer's weight since I have gestational diabetes. Everything checked out great, and they estimated that he weighed 7 lbs 3 oz. I was nervous! Typically, babies gain 1/2 lb every week for the last month, which would put him just short of 9 pounds. I remember texting my sister-in-law and debating with myself whether or not I wanted to attempt to "naturally" induce labor (I decided not to and that he would come when he was ready) and risk not being moved before his birth.

On Wednesday, I was simply exhausted. I resorted to popping Veggie Tales in and Layla was content to watch that while I dozed off. I just remember having absolutely no energy. Around midnight, I *thought* my water broke, but it wasn't a gush, so I was very unsure. I texted my mom, but she never responded (I later found out that she never got my text...), so then I texted my older sister. She was excited. I had just decided that I would call my doctor in the morning. I didn't see the point in going in if I had no contractions. Well, around 2 am what I now know were in fact contractions started. At first I really just thought they were some intense BH contractions, but around 4 they were VERY regular and getting more painful. One of my mom friends suggested I call labor and delivery, so I did. They told me to come in immediately.

Z called his parents, I called mom, Rachael called, I was texting my sisters, and the 45 minutes between 4 am and 4:45 am are a complete blur. I do remember laying on the bed during a contraction with Layla laying next to me while Z was getting her some clothes. She looked very concerned and started to cry. Little did I know how awesome she would do the rest of the day!

It was 4:49 when we finally got in the car to leave. By this time, my contractions were very close together and extremely painful. It usually takes us an hour to get to Lubbock, but my husband, the safe driver that he is, pretty much drove 90 the whole way. While I'm breathing through contractions, I hear our wonderful daughter in the back seat laughing and singing. :-) Once we got to Lorenzo (about 20 miles from home), I seriously considered having him see if there was a hospital there because I did NOT want to give birth in the car. I now know that the reason the contractions were so horrible is because Mr. Sawyer was crowning, and I needed to push. After making a wrong turn and hanging out at a couple red lights (just until I told Z to just run it!), we got to the hospital at 5:12 am. Z ran in to get a wheel chair, but I was impatient. As soon as he got back to the car, I walked into the labor and delivery area. They took me straight back and checked me to see if I was dilated. Regardless of the pain and urge to push, I still half expected the nurse to say, "oh, honey, you're just at a 2. Go home, take a shower, and you should be fine". So I asked her if I was dilated at all. She shockingly replied, "yeah. you're complete." Bam. That was the moment I knew I was getting the exact birth/delivery that I wanted. I did not want pain meds. I did not want to be induced. I just wanted it to be...perfect. And it was.

Being so early, there was nothing going on at the hospital. I was privileged to have 3 doctors and 5 nurses help and take care of me. One doctor sat by Layla's side talking to her and making sure she didn't flip. Layla sat there through the entire thing, and she was just wonderful. After about three pushes, Sawyer Randal was here. 15 minutes after we got to the hospital, before I had an IV, before I had signed any consent forms. It was perfect. I'm still shocked at how crazy and surreal it was.

Sawyer Randal Leonard

5:38 am

7 lbs 3 oz

19.5 inches

Because of him being 4 weeks early, the fact that I had gestational diabetes, and I tested positive for group b strep, Sawyer's breathing was somewhat difficult. They watched him for a little while, but then they decided he should go to NICU. (this is the part that isn't perfect) He was put on oxygen for the breathing and antibiotics for group b. We knew we would have to wait 2 days to get results of the blood culture regarding the group b, but we didn't know exactly how long he would have to be there.

It was hard. It was lonely sitting in our room and not having a sweet little baby next to me reminding me why I was there. It's a lot easier to physical heal, in my opinion, when you're taking care of your baby instead of someone else having to take care of him. We got to attempt to breastfeed before they took him, but he was so tired and so lethargic that it was unsuccessful. He was put on IV nutrients, but as soon as they thought he was ready, they let me nurse him. The NICU staff was wonderful. I couldn't have asked for better nurses/doctors to take care of him when I couldn't. Sawyer was born Thursday morning, he was off oxygen on Saturday, and we went home on Sunday.

Now we are home. He is perfect. Layla absolutely loves him. Instead of her getting jealous that Sawyer gets a lot of my time, she is jealous that I won't let her hold him all the time. She's a great big sister!

How many??

With the help of my parents, we moved all of our furniture and several boxes yesterday. We have the majority of our stuff here with us in the new house. We also stayed at our new house last night for the first night. Layla did great in her new room, and Zach did great in ours. I, on the other hand, could not sleep because of this cold (but I am plenty glad I have it now and not Layla!).

I was laying in bed unable to sleep around 5 am, so I decided I had better try to find all of my shoes so I'd have something other than tennis shoes to wear to church this morning. While going through boxes, I decided to go ahead and unpack/put up some stuff since. Well, low and behold, I discovered realized that we have approximately 20 bath towels floating around in our house. Seriously. 20. Why in the world do we need 20 bath towels? Maybe I'm lazy. Maybe I'm a hoarder (please, no!). Either way, I'm getting rid of at least 12 of them. Yes, it's nice to have towels for when family comes to visit, but we never have more than 4 people at a time visit, so we would actually just need to keep 6 towels. So, with the help of this quick example, I've come to the conclusion that we are going to keep 8 towels.

I do realize this was a blog post strictly about my realization of my towel obsession. For that, I am sorry. I'm trying to see it in a deeper light. We really do have too much stuff. It's everywhere. Have I ever mentioned that I have 5 crock pots? Yes. I have 5. I do use each of them, but I don't think I use them enough to justify having them. Did I also mention that we got rid of our DirectTv? I am so happy about this. I'm thinking about starting a family game night, and I can guarantee that my husband will be thrilled with this idea.

This Sunday morning, I think I'm going to get the little one ready and go find some breakfast (all of our food is still at the other house) while the husband sleeps. Then we will go to church and continue our work of packing/loading/unloading/unpacking. I hope you have a beautiful day!

Simple Life

I really want a simple life. Things have been so crazy here lately. Layla has been sick. It started with a cold and ended up turning to an ear infection. Thankfully, we got her on some antibiotics, and she is now her happy little self. Z's back surgery is now on the 6th (instead of the 13th), so we are moving into the new place this weekend. My parents being the wonderful people they are, are coming tomorrow to help us move. Z got called in for a 24 hour shift this morning, so he will get off at 9 in the morning and then we move. (poor guy.) I'm trying my hardest to have everything packed up before I go to bed tonight. So...why am I blogging?? I'm just looking forward to Sunday when we wake up and know that everything is in one place.

Back to the subject of a simple life. I'm tired of the clutter and chaos. I recently downloaded the free ebook Organized Simplicity for my Nook and was thoroughly surprised. While, I admit, I have not read all of it, I really enjoy the points made. The first chapter is called "Stuff" and starts off with this quote: "Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." -Will Rogers.  I love it. What do I think when I think of the word simple? I think easy. I think important. I think life. When you take out all the clutter and small things that take up space in our house, what is left? It's mostly the people, obviously. It makes room for life to happen. Forts. Hide and seek. Outdoors begin to call because the house is mostly empty. There's no television beckoning your attention. There's no computer needing your surfing. Instead, there's a basketball court waiting for you. There's a park with a swing set just begging for you to come push your child. There's a kitchen aid mixer (yeah, that awesome aqua one!) waiting for you to make some cookies to share with your neighbors. So, after you take out all of the distracting things in this life, you're left with the simple things. Kindness. Fun. Active things. Fellowship. All of those things that have been tossed aside and replaced with TVs, cell phones, computers, etc.

After we move into our new house, I will be going through all of our "stuff" and ridding ourselves of it. Is there seriously a need for 15 coffee mugs? 20 plastic travel cups? 20 non-matching towels? No, I don't think so! Plus, I guarantee that there is someone else who will use them and would be grateful for them.

I'm excited about making our life into a more simple lifestyle. I may blog about it, but I may not. I haven't decided yet. At the moment though, I have a sweet little girl who is just begging for some more snacks. Keep it simple.

The simplest things are often the truest. -Richard Bach

Dreaded words

Not too long after Z and I started dating, he helped me move. It was just across down, but it was a move nonetheless. I am like my dad in every way when it comes to moving. I like to get it done and get it done quickly. I'm surprised that after two words. We'll. make. it. work. When Z says this, for some reason, I get a vision of things twisted in weird ways, stuff broken, and things just crammed in a trailer all for the sake of making it work. I know, I know. That's not what he means when he says it, but to this day, those words still terrify me. I'm not quite sure why exactly, but the do. I'm finally getting the idea that he really means we will make it work. No, things will not end up broken and twisted in the end. 

We are about to start yet another couple busy months. Timelines work best for me, so here we go. 

Feb. 1-We can officially start moving into our house off of post. 

Feb. 2nd- I'll be babysitting (yay!) two adorable kids who I met through acquiring Layla's activity cube from craigslist. 

Feb. 3rd-11th- We will work to move everything except our furniture to our new house. 

Feb. 11th-12th- Our wonderful families will be coming into town to help us move our furniture. 

Feb. 13th- Z is finally having his back surgery. (yes, prayers are needed and welcomed!)

Feb. 14th-15th- Z will be staying in the hospital during this time. I am torn between staying with him in the hospital and staying with our daughter. I've stayed away from her one night (and it was really only 8 hours), so I am pretty sure I won't be able to handle two nights away from her, but at the same time I really want to be with my husband. 

Feb. 17th- Official move out date. 

After we are moved out and Z is home from the hospital, my time will be spent unpacking, taking care of Z in his post-op stages, and working on planning the 1st birthday party for our beautiful little girl. We'll need to do a cake run through just to make sure I can do it, but I'm pretty excited about this little venture into cake baking. 

Yeah, it's going to be a busy couple of months, but I think that's what is fun about it. This past weekend, we drove to San Antonio on Sunday night and then went to Natural Bridge Caverns on Monday. It was so relaxing and enjoyable allowing ourselves to get away (even just for a night) and experience something different. We went to Natural Bridge Caverns (my calves are still feeling this adventure) and then went down the River Walk in San Antonio. I told Z that I love going to places like that because it is overwhelmingly beautiful. It makes me feel like we aren't in the United States any more, but in some more exotic, far off land like the Summer Palace in Beijing. We walked up and down the River Walk "looking" for a place to eat lunch. It was well after 2 when we finally ate, but I was okay with that because I just wanted to take in the beauty. I didn't really care that much about how my stomach was growling. Layla was such a trooper for the whole trip. She enjoyed the caves as much as we did. 

Layla and I standing in front of "Fairy Castles"

 

Layla and Z 

Well, Layla is awake now, so no more writing. Have a blessed day! 

Random thoughts

Yes, this little girl can bring a smile to my face any day. She can scratch me one minute and make me fall in love with her all over again at the same time. She breaks my heart when I have to retrieve something from her hands that she wants and decides to stick that bottom lip out and cry, but it's adorable how the next minute she is laughing hysterically at something I do or say. 

Seriously. I've always thought God was pretty amazing, but wow, children are SUCH a blessing, and I'm constantly amazed at the love that is built between a mother and child. I hope I never grow tired of being amazed at my daughter. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a different note, we are about to enter into week two of 2012. As for my new year's resolutions, well, um, I guess they're going all right. I will say that Z and I are taking some steps in the right direction when it comes to eating healthier. Layla is right there with us! She is diving into all new foods and loves them. She is a big fan of blueberry pancakes right now.

My water intake is increasing a great deal (as is my need to frequent the bathroom a bit more). I'm trying hard to get motivated and STAY motivated. I know when I wake up in the morning that if I get dressed, put my tennis shoes on, wash my face and brush my teeth, then I will have a productive day. If Layla wakes up before I do and I don't have a chance to take care of myself, then the day usually ends up being a little groggy. One of my goals this week is to go to bed early (I'm shooting for 9 pm) and get up early (we'll shoot for 7). I'm hoping I can stick with this. I always end up staying late doing the housework because I feel guilty if I do it during the day instead of playing with Layla. I'm trying really hard to get the hang of this whole "house wife" thing. I love staying home with Layla; it's just hard getting used to it.

Another thing on my list of goals for this year is to, once a month, send a package to one person a month. Even if it's just a card, I want to do something nice for someone who isn't expecting it. I recently put together a birthday gift for a dear friend using an idea I found on Pinterest. I did one gift for every hour of her birth day. So, she gets to open a present every hour! That's 24 presents! I hope she enjoys it as much as I enjoyed putting it together.

Well, considering it's 11:23 pm, and we have church in the morning, I had best get to bed! Piccolo will probably wake up soon thinking she's hungry. (anyone have suggestions on how to get this not-starving-but-thinks-she-is-hungry-9-almost-10-month old girl to sleep through the night??)

Sweet dreams all.

Out with the old and in with the new

Wow. That is all I have to say for all the exciting things this past year contained. First, the birth of sweet Layla was probably the most exciting thing. 

Layla Ann Leonard
born at 2:49 pm March 25th, 2011

I then graduated (finally!) with my Bachelor in Interdisciplinary Studies. I can officially teach kindergarten-6th grade, but I'm not sure if I ever will. We are definitely leaning towards homeschooling when the time comes. 

May 14th, 2011

My sister got married on July 16th, so we got to be a part of that beautiful wedding.

Our wedding was next on September 17th, 2011! In the end, we were married and that was ALL that mattered. :-) 

We then got to move in to our cute little house. We live on post in a 2 bedroom duplex and love ever inch of it. 

As for new year resolutions, we don't have many specific ones. I'm going to list a few just because I can. 

1. Play more. I feel like the past couple months have just been crazy. We had company one weekend. We both have 9-10 months olds. We sat in Layla's room just playing, and I realized, unfortunately, that that does not happen very often. I want to PLAY more with Layla instead of worrying about the kitchen being cleaned or the laundry done. 

2. Spend more time outside. It is beautiful outside today, and after it warms up a bit, Layla and I are heading outside. I want her to remember playing outside as much as her father and I remember. I remember getting dirty and feeling "free" when I was younger. Kids don't do that enough these days, and Z and I are not being very good examples because we rarely spend time outside. 

3. Get and STAY healthy. I don't even know where to begin. I just know that every little bit helps. It also helps that my daughter thinks it is hilarious watching me workout, so that's even better. 

4. Drink less sodas. I'd like to eventually cut these out all together, but it. is. so. hard. 

5. Cook more. I want to cut out eating out. Not only will we eat healthier, but we will also save a lot of money that way. 

6. Be a better friend. I've so been lacking on the quality of being a good friend. I'm going to do better. I'm going to do things I wish people would do for me, and I'm going to love like I'd like to be loved. 

7. Write down every day something that happened. I want to remember things. I've already started this. Z got me a beautiful journal for Christmas. 

8. Read more. Oh, thank goodness for my awesome Nook from Tiane and Christian. I have already been reading more. I am going to shoot to read one non-fiction book a month (plus some of those good fictional books!) Starting with some Dave Ramsey books. 

9. Save more. We are starting the Financial Peace University at the 1st Methodist church here in Killeen Wednesday night. it's just a preview, but then the classes start on the 18th. I'm very excited about getting out of debt! 

10. Do more things as a family. We want to go camping even if it is just to Blora here on post. We want to go to the park every Saturday. As long as we are spending time together, it doesn't matter where we are. 

24 hours

 Time management has never really been a strong suit of mine. I have always made lists the night before going to bed in hopes of accomplishing every meaningless task listed, but I fail over and over again. The past couple of days have been horribly busy as I've been trying to get several projects finished by my made up deadlines, so last night when I made my list, Z found it humorous that at the top of the list I actually put 1. brush teeth. 2. wash face. 3. get dressed. 


I had planned on getting up early, but before I realized, it was 8:30 and there was a naked little girl walking into my room (accompanied by her father). Fast forward 3 hours and I'm brushing my teeth while starting a load of towels (yes, at the same time). Then I washed my face, okay, I cheated by applying a mask instead. Luckily I used a mask because Piccolo decided she, in fact, was not ready for a nap, so I got to rock her while she admired my glistening face. 


Projects? Well, my sister asked me to make her new family's stockings for Christmas this year. After one failed attempt, I finally finished and got them in the mail yesterday afternoon. I'm thoroughly pleased with the outcome and am even more excited to start on my own family's stockings. 

I think my sewing machine is enjoying all the attention she has been getting recently, and I'm glad we have reconnected. 

We also introduced Piccolo to painting yesterday. Yeah, we've done a couple hand prints here and there, but this, my friends, was full body, paint in every roll type of painting. Pictures? Why, of course! 

Excited about painting! 

Note: tuna cans may be more entertaining then the paint itself

Piccolo loved chewing on the cans. Overall, it was a lot of fun especially considering the fact that when she was done, we could just run some water and the mess would wash away. Success. 

24 hours is not much time in a day, but it's all we have. We can choose to fill it with work, cleaning, folding, mopping, sweeping, blogging (guilty!), or we can fill it with more fun things like spending time with our loved ones, singing, dancing, painting, and loving. 

I'll choose the latter. (so this is good bye for today!)

.

What's it all about?

This year...this Christmas is going to be a bit different, I suppose. I'm so used to being by myself. I would work and I would save and know exactly what I'd be able to get people for Christmas. Not this year. So much has changed, and while Z and I are getting used to living off of one income, we also have a child now. I'm not complaining by any means about lack of money. We make things work. We don't want for anything. We have a house. We have food. We have gas and a car. We have fun. We make it work. The thing is....I am stressing about Christmas gifts and wondering how truly satisfied one would be with a homemade gift. I don't really know why I'm stressing about it this year because the past several years I have chose to give homemade gifts. To me, they mean so much more. Anyone can go out and buy something (well....most can. ha.), but not everyone can make something. And if they do make something, it won't be exactly like the thing I make. So every homemade gift is unique.

But the thing I do not like is that this is actually causing me to stress. Really? I'm sorry, but that's not what this season is about. I think we all too often get caught up in the buying and the hustle and bustle that we really forget what the true meaning of CHRISTmas is. I'm sorry, but it is not about Santa. It's not about some cute fat guy with a long beard squeezing himself down a chimney to put some gifts under a tree. Nope. It's also not about presents (giving or receiving). To me, this season is about love, hope, and joy. The love of a Savior. The hope that baby Jesus gives the world. And the joy we find in knowing He was born to save us. 

I don't want Layla to grow up thinking it's normal for her momma to get stressed this time of the year. Nope. I'd rather her think it's a time to have fun and enjoy family. A time to watch some Christmas movies, sing Christmas carols, dance in the living room, give to those we don't know, and to a time to love people. all people. 

Tomorrow instead of asking Layla to be satisfied in her jumper or in her high chair while I work on stockings or other projects, I'm going to play with Layla. We will make Christmas cookies. We will sing Christmas carols. We will paint some Christmas-y things. We will have fun. :-) 

Leaps of faith

December is here! I'm amazed at how quickly time goes by as a stay-at-home-mom. Layla will be 9 months this month.....three months away from being 1 year old. Wow.

She is growing like crazy. It seems like one day I was jumping to catch her and keep her from falling back as she was perfecting her ability to sit up, and now, now, I am jumping to catch her and keep her from falling when she attempts to walk from the coffee table to the couch without any help. I will not be surprised if she is walking within the next month or two.

Some of her favorite things to do include flying through the air with her daddy. I promise....this girl is going to love roller coasters, and it's all because of her dad. Kind of sad that he won't ride them with her though. :-) She loves playing with dishes (both real and play). She mostly bangs them around. Anything that makes noise (not necessarily caused by batteries) is a-ok with Layla. She also loves the turtle that hangs on the side of her crib. I wake up in the morning to her hitting the button changing the songs. Each time you press the button, it changes songs. It sounds like she's changing radio stations until she finally turns it off because nothing good is on.

She has also learned how to scrunch her nose and make a sniffle/laugh sound. It is the cutest thing. She is all kinds of sweet, and a very...okay, the happiest baby I have ever seen. I love her to pieces.

Now...the Leap of faith I'm talking about in the title is me finally starting an Etsy account. It's not up and running yet because I still have to add pictures, but within the week it will be ready. I'm nervous because I'm not one to really "sell" myself that well, but I love making stuff. I love staying home with my daughter. I love having an income. So....we work from home. Whatever I do actually sell will just be a bonus, and I can handle that.

To start off, we will be selling key chains, teething necklaces, sock monkey shirts, and magnets. I'm really hoping to -once things settle down- make some quilts to sell. I love quilting, and now that I finally have the space (a kitchen table) to do it, I hope to do it more often. So keep an eye out! I can custom design everything I make, so it should be fun.

Well, it is time for bed. We are working on Layla's sleep schedule because that poor child does not need to eat in the middle of the night anymore, and this momma needs a full night's sleep. Also, I'm hoping to start a strict routine of working out in the mornings before Z goes to work, and I'd like to start that in the morning. Yes, it is 12 am, and yes, he does have to leave by 5:30 am. We'll see.

G'night.

So it begins.

I think I'm getting the hang of this. (or am I?)

Life is really starting to settle down. By settle down, I mean a majority of the house is unpacked and put in its right place. We finally have a dining table, so for about 4 days, we have been sitting at the table for our meals. Layla thought it was pretty cool to be able to eat at the same height as her momma and daddy.

My happy little girl.

So, after Z and I busted our rear ends into gear and worked all day Friday on the house before his parents came into town, we can relax without feeling guilty about it. Granted, very seldom is everything actually done, and I can sit without thinking of what I need to attack next. We have tile floor. We have a baby who is crawling everywhere. Therefore, my floors need to be swept and mopped all the stinkin' time! It's okay though. This is what I've always wanted to do (be a stay-at-home mom); I just have to figure out a schedule and get my life organized. 

I'm also trying to figure out a schedule and learning activities to do with Layla. I'm a firm believer in teaching children from a very young age. I think if you teach a child from the beginning how to do things and that you trust them, then they'll be capable of far greater things than the typical child. I'm so blessed to have my education, and, yes, sometimes I feel as though I'm wasting my degree by not teaching. While teaching my daughter will not reward me with a monthly paycheck, I do believe I will get a far greater reward that could not be matched when any amount of money. I also think Layla and our future kids will benefit from my having a degree in Interdisciplinary Studies. :-) 

This week the house work is being put on the back burner  we started doing some educational activities. We are working on some sensory activities. I've known so many kids who are not fond of certain textures, so I really want to expose Layla to all sorts of textures. We played with ice today, and she loved it! 

She enjoyed shaking the ice and making a lot of noise with it. 

We also tasted the ice.

There is currently an ice tray in the freezer full of colored ice that we will be playing with in the bathtub tomorrow. We also played with some leaves and twigs that we found on our walk Sunday evening.

Playing with nature

I'm pretty sure Layla enjoyed everything we did today. She squealed, tasted, touched, hit, scooted, shook, crawled, walked, talked, and played hard. I'm going to tackle finger painting here pretty soon. (wish me luck)

Tonight I am working on some keychains that my MIL will be selling at a Mother's Day Out Craft Fair. I am trying to have 50 (30 more to go!)done by tomorrow evening so my sister-in-law can take them with her to Lamesa so we won't have to mail them. Here are just a few that are already done. 

I've got some zebra print and other popular patterns drying as we speak. We'll see how they do at the fair! 

Speaking of key chains, it is time to get back to work! 

November

First, I cannot believe November is already here. This year has gone by incredibly fast, and it has, by far, been the most wonderful year I have ever had.

Second, I have seen a lot of people discussing and listing the things they are thankful for. I want to do it to because I have so much to be thankful for this season.

November 1: I am so thankful that I serve a loving and forgiving God. I am constantly amazed (especially lately) at how unconditional and overwhelming His love is for me.

November 2: I am thankful for my wonderful husband. I could not have asked for a better partner to go through this life with me. He is always there for me and can always put a smile on my face. I know I don't tell him enough, but he is perfect for me. :-)

November 3: I am thankful for my daughter (words I didn't think I'd be able to say for a while!). She has blessed my life in such a wonderful way! I'm so blessed to be able to stay home with her and to be able to be her mother.

November 4: I am so incredibly thankful for my parents and the way they raised me. They taught me to care about others. They taught me how to work hard for something. I'm so blessed to have them as parents and for everything they have ever done for me. I would not be the person I am today if it weren't for them.

November 5: I am thankful for my sisters. I cannot imagine going through life without a sister..much less the sisters I have. They are both intelligent, beautiful, wise YOUNG women, and I am so blessed that they are my sisters.

November 6: I am thankful for my brother. He has grown into such a wonderful man and father. I love watching him play with his adorable kids and especially enjoy the way his kids look up to him. :-) I am so very blessed to have him as a brother.

November 7: I am so blessed to have Cimarron as a "sister". I could not ask for a better sister-in-law, and I am extremely thankful that God blessed us with her. She has made such a great impact on my life (probably in ways she doesn't know), and I will always be grateful for that.

November 8: I am thankful and so extremely blessed to get to stay home with Layla every day. I'm thankful for the sacrifices that Z makes to make it possible. I so enjoy getting to be there to see everything she experiences on a daily basis and being the one who helps and encourages her to experience those things.

November 9: Ah, today I am thankful for the Holiday season. I absolutely adore this time of the year, and I am so happy and excited about having my own little family to spend it with this year.

November 10: I am so thankful for my niece and nephews. Those kids seriously bring such a joy to my life. Emma is such an intelligent little girl with such a big heart. Noah is the craziest little boy ever and can always make me laugh. Eli is one of the sweetest little boys ever. He is such a lovable little boy.

November 11: I am thankful for my *few* friends. I'm extremely thankful for Breanne Bellows who has been such a blessing over the past couple of years. Our paths crossed again at just the right time, and she was such an encouragement at the most difficult and blessed time of my life. She is truly a gift from God. Good, true, sincere, and honest friends are very hard to come by, but she has each of those qualities.

November 12: I am thankful for my grandparents. I am so blessed to have both sets of grandparents. They are both such a big blessing on my life, and I am so grateful that they both raised my parents to be good, Christian adults. Zach and I were just talking about how blessed we were to grow up the way we did.

November 13: I am thankful for my freedom. I am thankful that I can wake up daily and choose to worship the God I worship. I'm thankful that we have such a loving and merciful God to worship.

November 14: Today, I am thankful for sleep. It sounds ridiculous, but I am. I had a bout of insomnia last night, and I could not fall asleep until 2 am rolled around. Layla woke up at 4, and then at 7:30. I am, however, grateful that my husband comes home from PT and chose to let me sleep a little more while he played with Layla. :-)

November 15: I am thankful for my education. Today I applied for my certifications (yeah, it took me a while to get that done). Regardless of the fact that we are choosing for me to stay at home with Layla and not exactly getting paid for using my degree, I still benefit from it on a daily basis when working with Layla. Having my degree has "qualified" me to teach Layla at home from an early age, and I do enjoy every minute of it.

November 16: I am thankful for the seasons. I love how God knows exactly what He was doing when He created the seasons. It amazes me how I love every single season and by the end of one season, I am anxiously awaiting the start of the next. Fall is absolutely one of my favorite seasons.

November 17: I am thankful for my health. I woke up this morning full of energy (that's after getting up at 3 and 5 with a fussy little girl) and made a lot of progress on my *messy* house. I am thankful that God allows me to be healthy (I haven't been sick in a year!), and I am grateful to be able to play with my little girl and husband.

November 18: I am thankful for days at home with my  husband. It seems like we are so blessed with several of these days, and sometimes I think I take them for granted.

November 19: I am thankful for date day with my husband!!

November 20: I am thankful that my baby is very seldom fussy. She is seriously one of the happiest babies I have ever been around, and I'm so blessed that she's ours.

November 21: I am thankful that in 2 days I will be with my family!

November 22: I am thankful for libraries and free books. :-)

November 23: I am thankful for an oven and a kitchen where I can do a lot of baking and cooking.

November 24: I am SO thankful for a healthy family.

November 25: I am thankful that Layla and I were blessed enough to breastfeed for 8 months (and still going!) So many people have problems and are unable to breastfeed at all...much less for 8 months, so we are very blessed!

November 26: I am thankful for rain.

November 27: I am thankful for a vehicle that works and that we have gas to go in that vehicle.

November 28: I am thankful for our home. It seems like we far too often take for granted the simple things, so I am definitely going to remember how blessed we are to have a roof over our head.

November 29: I am thankful for Vitamin C. :-)

November 30: I am thankful for random acts of kindness.

November is over now. December is about to begin. November went by so incredibly fast, and it seems like I really didn't get that much accomplished. ha. I think I always feel like that. I'm going to leave you with this quote I read about a week ago that really made me think.

"What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday? 

Beautiful changes

Oh, goodness. Life is finally going to start settling down. :-)

We are now married! I still can't get used to saying "my husband" or knowing that my name is now Rebekah Leonard. It is nice though. We are currently "living" in a hotel suite (a wonderful gift from my in-laws). We are on the waiting list for a house, and hopefully it won't be very long. Suite life isn't too bad though! It's nice being able to have everything in one room. hahah. Less to clean, right?

Having a little one can really help put things into perspective. Layla has no clue that we don't have a house. She just knows that we have a roof over our heads and that we are all together, so nothing else really matters. :-)

I think Layla may like it because she slept for 9 hours last night for the first time. It was beautiful!
I know this isn't very long, but Layla is asleep so I think I'm going to go take a nap as well. I'm trying to recover from that very crazy and exhausting week last week so I can be ready to move and unpack. :-)

Smiley

She smiles almost all the time. It's so wonderful to go get her out bed in the mornings or after nap and to see a smile on her face.

One of the things that has grown tremendously since having Layla is my patience. I have began to realize that there is absolutely nothing in the world more important than spending time with Layla. If I rush through things like bath time and bed time, it will all soon be over and I won't remember it. She won't either for that matter. One song that has become a tradition to our bedtime routine is Forever and a Day by Jewel. I love it. :-) Zach and I actually bought the cd before Layla was here. Actually before we even knew we were having a girl.

Bedtime and naptime has started to get a bit more difficult. Even though Layla is exhausted, she simply does not want to go to sleep. She used to be such a great sleeper. Even if I had to get up in the middle of the night, she'd take care of her business and go back to sleep. I think we're getting better...she just doesn't want to miss anything and tries to stay awake.

We now have 48 days until the wedding. (yay!!!) I can't wait. It will be nice to not have to go two weeks in between visits with Zach. i can't imagine how different Layla is after two weeks without seeing her. It'll be even nicer to finally have a house of our own and settle in.

Well, some craft projects are calling my name. I will hopefully post pictures soon. :-)

Craziness.

The past two weeks have seriously been a blur. Life is super hectic right now simply because we just got through with Rachael's wedding (I swear we spent the four days before Rachael's wedding in the car running errands, and Layla was such a good sport!) Now we are trying to nail down all the details of my wedding (we'll see how this goes...)

It's a bit frustrating because establishing a schedule with Layla is just not possible right now. I was lucky enough to be able to keep Noah while his parents were on their honeymoon for a week after the wedding, and now Layla and I have been spending time with Emma and Eli (cousins) for a week while their parents are on a mission trip in West Virginia. I LOVE getting to spend time with my niece and nephews, but I am also very ready to have one-on-one time with my little girl.

Today was Layla's four month check up. She is doing great!
Weight: 15 lbs 9 oz (50%)
Length: 24.25 inches (87%)

She is still amazing me every day. It's so much fun to get to spend time with her and watching her learn new things. She found her feet, which has made it a bit more difficult at bed time because she's more interested in those things than sleeping.

We got the go ahead to start solids (or cereal), but we are waiting until she is 6 months to start anything. Sometimes a touchy subject, I looked up why it is beneficial to wait to start solids, and you can find that information here. It's pretty interesting. It's really important to Zach and me that Layla only have breast milk until she is 6 months. Besides.....she doesn't really need any more food. :-)

This is one of my favorite pictures!! :-)


4th of July :-)

That'll have to do it for now. :-) there will be more posts next week as Layla and I get to spend a whole week with the fiancee and daddy in Killeen. :-)

Almost three...months

It just occurred to me yesterday that Layla will be 3 months this week. I get so excited about her new experiences. Rolling over. Grasping toys. Saying new sounds (baba and gaga....sometimes). She has such a great personality and seems to be ahead of the game developmentally. She LOVES standing up. Every time I help her stand up, she gets this really excited look on her face that is simply adorable, and then she lets out a little squeal. She will sit up with a bit of help. She scoots and scoots. Part of me feels like I should discourage this exceptional behavior simply for the fact that I don't want her walking already and not wanting to be held anymore. At the same time, I love that she is discovering new things and is anxious to do so.

She has been sleeping quite well! I realized the other night that just because she wakes up in the middle of the night, that doesn't mean she is hungry. If I heard the smallest whimper, I'd stumble into her room at 2 am and carry her back into my room and feed her. Twenty minutes later, I'd take her back to her bed and she'd fall asleep. Well, the past two nights, as a test, when she woke up, I'd go in just to make sure she doesn't start screaming, and she'd go back to sleep. Both nights, she slept from 10 pm to 6 am. B-e-a-utiful. Simply beautiful.

I just wanted to do an update since I haven't posted in a while. Hopefully things will get a lot more consistent once I'm in Killeen and a little bit more settled. :-)