Expect the Unexpected

“A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes” -Mark Twain

I'm starting a new blog because my life is going to be changing drastically within the next few months, and I really want to keep track of my thoughts and feelings throughout this change. You hear people say "if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans." I've always made the plans for my future. Rarely do the things I expect to happen actually happen. When I was in high school, I really thought I would be married by the time I was 22-ish and then I would promptly start a family. That is really all I have ever wanted, and that desire is the only thing that has never changed in my life.
I know God knows our mistakes before we even make them, and, in all honesty, thinking about that just frustrates me to no extent. It's even more difficult for me to grasp the concept that one of the biggest mistakes I've made (so far) is going to result in, by far, the biggest blessing I could ever receive. In March of 2011, I will be having a baby. Sometimes I think I'm done dealing with all the embarrassment of this happening out of wed-lock, but then I'll feel the shame and embarrassment all over again. One thing that has remained constant through this is the fact that I know I am very excited about finally being a mother. If you know me at all, you know that has been and is my biggest desire.

I am not going to lie and say I'm not scared or nervous about this new "opportunity", but at the same time, I think those are feelings felt by every new mother. My family has been overwhelmingly supportive through all this. We all love babies, and ultimately this baby is going to be the only thing that matters (at least to me) in the future.

(this is at my first sonogram at approximately 9 weeks)

There are a number of reasons for which I am starting this new blog. I want to keep track of all my experience on this journey. From the doctor visits to the sleepless nights to the lack of energy (these are the only things I've experienced thus far!)...I want to remember all of it. I'm determined to enjoy this experience. I am very thankful for the friends and family who have been very encouraging through this so far. I'm even more thankful for a gracious God who sees past all our horrible dirt and loves us regardless.